Episode 20: A stately pleasure-dome? No, just the punctuation warehouse

Onesie watched the hostile couple as they disappeared through the café door, this was turning into a bad morning. When he’d woken slumped on an uncomfortable bench in Fibonacci House and found that his quarry – Onesie didn’t even know his name but thought of him as Scowl – had disappeared, he gulped. How could he tell Criminal and the others that he’d failed to keep tabs on Scowl? Onesie wandered around the building in the off-chance of a sighting but soon realised this was futile and contacted Criminal. An angry rant later, Criminal made his way to Fibonacci House where Onesie was searching the publicly accessible places.

Although he felt uneasy in the presence of Criminal and his friends, he knew they were likely to ease his passage to acceptance. Truth was that Onesie felt uncomfortable among most adult words, he struggled to follow conversations and always seemed to laugh at the wrong moment. It was different in the company of younger, more frivolous types with whom he could relax and engage in banter. The circles among which manufactured pop groups moved were most to his liking….and they liked wearing onesies! But for the moment, his fate seemed in the hands of those guys from the C-block.

Episode 18: Ennui and lethargy...but don't let that deter you from reading this

To Ubiquarian, it felt like a hangover without the prior enjoyment of a good night out as he awoke with a stiff neck and aching limbs. He’d walked to Fibonacci House after his encounter with Onesie, found an empty room and stretched out on a sofa. After a few hours of fitful sleep, however, he abandoned any further attempt at rest and shuffled along a corridor where a dishevelled figure wearing a hooded top was slumped on a bench. Surprised to see a resident of Fibonacci House in such condition, he shrugged and continued his walk towards an exit and fresh air but the early morning chill soon drove him back to the warmth of Fibonacci House.

A receptionist helped him to contact 13 and they arranged to meet that morning in a café on the 13th floor. 13 said that another unnamed word would join them; Treason, Ubiquarian hoped. He went to another café to while away the time and as seemed the case throughout the building, the clientele treated eating as something of a chore, not to be enjoyed or savoured, merely performed. There was no bustle, just a muted clang of crockery, a barely audible clink of cups and minimal conversation. He was weary, disoriented and longed for a return to normality…the same normality he’d opted to escape from so recently.

Episode 17: Dangerous liasions - Piper and 11, Drummer and 12....Treason and 13?

Stunned, Ubiquarian slowly walked away from the door where he’d spent a full minute listening to the muffled giggles, laughter and clinking glasses from within. It was clear that Treason, the catalyst for his disappearance, was cavorting with a number. A number! Treason’s individuality was one of the things he liked most about her but this was bordering on the perverse and hadn’t 13 said something about “kinky”? It didn’t bear thinking about.

He’d heard stories of such liaisons, stories he’d assumed to be apocryphal. There was that bawdy song about relationships between words and numbers, a song which was banned from airplay on Radio Word and one whose author remained unknown. It told of sordid goings-on between Swan and 7, between 10 and Lord, between 11 and Piper and others. If memory served him correct, this litany of scandal ended with 12 and Drummer. Would it now be updated to include 13 and Treason?

Episode 3: Words we could happily do without

Cynic rolled his eyes. ‘What’s it this time, Conspiracy? You’ve just seen them yourself? Who’s “them”? What’s “it”?’

 

‘This time, our plot-obsessed friend has a valid concern,’ said Crusade, a serious-looking man wearing a donkey-jacket and jeans. ‘He’s referring to the return of word-traffickers…you know how they often try to exploit the collective dumbing-down around Christmas time. Everyone’s guard is lowered - stupefied by food, drink and rubbish television – and unwanted words can sneak into popular usage. I’m afraid we have a prime example here in the building right now.’

 

Conspiracy leaned forward, dropped his voice even lower and said, ‘Onesie.’