Episode 16: So many questions in the home of answers

Tempers were fraying in C-block.

‘Look, I’m not comfortable about this either but I don’t really see what other options we have,’ sighed Clever. ‘We either see if Traitor can help us in T-block or we might have to resort to contacting Crook or Criminal or some of that mob in our building.’

‘Er, guys,’ said Conspiracy, hesitantly. ‘I was approached by Crook and Coercion earlier. They knew we were...sorry, they knew I was asking about Onesie and quizzed me about it. I asked them if they were aware of anything about Crusade’s disappearance. Maybe we shouldn’t rule out getting some help from them to track him down. I know, I know…we don’t want to mix with the likes of them but wouldn’t we take help from any source?’

Episode 15: Not the answer to life, the universe and everything

‘This is irregular. My only interaction with a word or words has been formal. That is my preference. I do not fully understand your world. It is nice to meet you. My name is 42.’

‘And it’s good to meet you, 42. Like Statistics said, I’m Ubiquarian. I’m not officially in the OED yet so I thought this was a good opportunity to sample a bit more of the world around me.’

Episode 14: Treason, cardinal numbers and digi-brothers

Incognito nodded to the woman sitting alone at a table in the I-block café, certain that this must be the mysterious caller. She matched the description provided earlier to Incognito: youngish, raven-haired and tinted spectacles.

‘Incognito?’ Treason asked.

‘Yes, that’s me. And I take it you’re the woman who called me earlier?’

‘Yes, thanks for taking the time to come here. My name is Treason. You’re highly regarded by friends of mine so I wanted to sound you out about a few things. Well, just one thing, really.’ Treason paused. ‘I’m thinking of getting a new identity and would like to find out more about it.’

Episode 13: Name? Number?

Ubiquarian, though familiar with descriptions of Fibonacci House and its inhabitants, was still surprised when he walked through the building for the first time. All around was the hum of machinery as pale-faced men and women stared fixedly at screens or tapped at keyboards in staccato bursts; conversation was minimal with only the occasional few words puncturing the hum and tapping.

Coffee mugs were visible on every surface with dark rings underneath indicating the position of their predecessors and it seemed that eating at one’s desk was the norm; empty pizza boxes protruded from rubbish bins and the smell of processed cheese and pepperoni wafted around the room as the resident numbers munched them mechanically, scarcely looking away from screens and keyboards.

Episode 12: Going underground

Ubiquarian, as he now thought of himself, was finding good and bad aspects to his new existence. Until he was accepted into the OED, he would be unable to reside in one of the letter blocks…something which wasn’t without its own advantages as he relished the novelty of his anonymity and wandered around Wordsdrow without tasks to perform. On the down side, he had to seek temporary accommodation in one of the small sanctuaries for unregistered words which had sprung up on Wordsdrow’s hinterland.

Episode 11: Good cop, good cop

‘I don’t know. Something’s not quite right here. Words have disappeared before; remember when the stigma of association became too much for Politician and he went to ground? Now, that case was easy enough to work out but Crusade’s disappearance? There’s nothing to indicate why and we’re left with that odd scene in his room. A mystery.’

Constable leaned back and stared at the ceiling as if the answer might be found there. He wore a blue suit – he considered a full uniform to be overkill – and liked to carry a notebook on his person at all times: a notebook which he now flicked through with a frown. Across the table, Cracker sketched meandering doodles on an A4 pad and pursed his lips.

Episode 10: Incognito by name, incognito by nature

At 5am in the morning, Crusade walked towards the I-block and, as ever, his gaze was drawn to the top of the building. There, looking for all the world as if it was floating above the 28-storey tower, was the distinctive circular ball which made the building replicate a lower case “i”, complete with tittle. The tittle was attached by ten-foot high reinforced steel rods and, here, technology and engineering combined to stunning effect. A sensor within the structure charted the sky colour which was simultaneously superimposed on the steel rods. At 5am on a December morning, the steel rods were as dark as the night sky, creating a convincing silhouetted i.

Episode 9: A long night's journey into day

The clock by her bedside showed it was 3am. Treason had spent a restless night after her encounter with Crusade. Had she been too harsh in dismissing him? He had, after all, been rather sweet in his attempts to woo her and she’d enjoyed the many hours spent in his company. But she was who she was. Treason continually looked for adventure; she enjoyed flirting with danger and was happy when she found herself in situations with a frisson of excitement. Had Crusade suggested that they abseil down from the room high up in B-block to his own room, this would’ve appealed to her more than the elaborate arrangements he’d gone to. She craved the spontaneous, the dramatic and the unpremeditated.

Episode 8: ATMs: known unknowns no longer lost in translation

As on the previous day, lethargy prevailed among the small group assembled in C-block; this time, the location was a bar in the same building and their pale faces and muted chatter bore testimony to the excesses of the night before. Correspondent gazed into the distance, Cynic idly swirled the ice cubes in his gin and tonic and braced himself before tasting it, Clever exhaled as he leaned back on the banquette, Correct warily sipped his drink and both Coin and Cutback nursed soft drinks and grimaced when the door slammed shut as Conspiracy joined them.

‘Morning,’ he said, checked his watch and added: ‘Or afternoon, more like. Looks like you guys feel much the same as me. Good fun last night, though.’

‘It was,’ said Clever, groaning as he looked at his watch. ‘Hell, I’ve got a meeting to attend soon…just as I was getting comfortable, or less uncomfortable, here. ’

‘Unavoidable?’ asked Correspondent.

‘Unfortunately, yes. There’s a shindig planned today to officially launch the ATM app. It'll feature a lot of smug self-congratulation so I'd rather stay here but that wouldn’t be viewed favourably, methinks. I have been one of the participants in the project.’

Episode 7: In search of identity...a new Crusade

Crusade, thrown by Treason’s forthright accuracy, mumbled: ‘What I was trying to say earlier is that I really…’

‘Ssssh…’ she placed a finger to her lips. ‘You don’t need to explain. I’m flattered by the lengths you’ve gone to…I am, I really am, it’s just that…Look, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t really go in for the romantic novel stuff. Oh, I’m susceptible to a bit of flattery and somebody making an effort but I thought you’d be aware of the sort of thing which really works for me.’

Crusade continued to stare at her, waiting for her knowing smile to re-appear but Treason merely looked around the room and waited for him to reply. He remained silent and she, unsettled by this, returned his gaze and sighed.

Episode 6: Spellcheck and seduction

Treason laughed and nodded approvingly towards Dissident. ‘An OED spring...sounds like Dissident’s plotting it already…watch this space. OK, we haven’t got long this evening, comrades, so I’d like to introduce somebody who’s having a rough time at the moment and could use some support from us. This is Spellcheck, one of our younger colleagues, with a sorry tale to tell.’

Hesitantly, a young man stood up and blinked as all eyes turned to him. His skin had a ghostly pallor and his eyes darted around the room before they finally settled on a point on the wall, high above everybody. He coughed, closed his eyes, swallowed and spoke.

Episode 5: When Angel meets Atheist, Argument can't be far away

As Crusade left the C-block, he thought of the various blocks and how they seemed to assume a dominant characteristic of their own based on the proliferation and importance of the words housed within. C-block, for instance, contained many words with underworld connotations and, in the eyes of some, was tainted accordingly.

‘You get saddled with a reputation,’ Coin once pointed out. ‘Remember when Knave tried to get his name changed to Cnave just so he could hang out with the undesirable element of C-block. He claimed that since the K was silent, it didn’t matter if it was changed to C. What a creep! Speaking of which, Creep is another word we could do without here.’

And then there was the notorious C-word itself. C-word was rarely accorded its proper name and remained in a secluded cell, allowed out only on occasions when regular profanities were deemed insufficient and something more derogatory called for.

Episode 4: Beards, Brassiere and background (the episode with context)

In this episode, we take a step back and find out about Wordsdrow and the rules which govern it. Immerse yourself in this mix of fact and conjecture. 

What would eventually be the Oxford English Dictionary took about 70 years to complete and its origins in the second half of the 19th century – the epoch of Victorian achievement, invention, confidence and ambition – saw few limits imposed on the nascent dictionary. James Murray, he of the long flowing beard, watched the dictionary grow and grow under his lengthy stewardship as editor. When it was completed in 1928, it ran to over twice the size anticipated by Murray at the outset of his tenure as editor in 1879. The proliferation of words had been expected but the accommodation available for them was soon seen to be woefully inadequate.

Episode 3: Words we could happily do without

Cynic rolled his eyes. ‘What’s it this time, Conspiracy? You’ve just seen them yourself? Who’s “them”? What’s “it”?’

 

‘This time, our plot-obsessed friend has a valid concern,’ said Crusade, a serious-looking man wearing a donkey-jacket and jeans. ‘He’s referring to the return of word-traffickers…you know how they often try to exploit the collective dumbing-down around Christmas time. Everyone’s guard is lowered - stupefied by food, drink and rubbish television – and unwanted words can sneak into popular usage. I’m afraid we have a prime example here in the building right now.’

 

Conspiracy leaned forward, dropped his voice even lower and said, ‘Onesie.’

Episode 2. Crisis, Fiscal & Cliff

‘It’s all kicking off down in the bar,’ Crisis gushed. ‘Crook, Criminal and Culprit have taken offence to Omnishambles and his entourage. Trending was chatting up both Cutie and Curvaceous when Crook and his cohorts arrived and it looks like it could turn nasty.’

Correspondent shrugged. ‘So what…one of the downsides of being in C-block is proximity to all those low-lifes which the letter C seems to attract but if that bunch of low-lifes send Omnishambles off with a flea in his ear, good. C’mon, Crisis, leave them to it. Join us here.’

Crisis glanced towards the table and closed the door behind him. ‘Don’t mind if I do. I’m entitled to some relaxation every now and then. God knows I have enough to deal with all year round.’

‘That’s the spirit,’ said Clever. ‘No point in making a drama out of yourself. So, has it been busier than normal this year then?’