Episode 22: A place where 256 is the equal of 414,825

Change was everywhere and when Crusade and Treason implored colleagues to look beyond their own world to the wider community, they found the plea already echoing around Wordsdrow. New friendships began, visits were made to buildings never hitherto visited and dinners hosted with the guests selected to ensure they represented the component sections of Wordsdrow.

‘I never really thought of numbers or punctuation marks as, you know, equals but actually meeting some has been eye-opening,’ was Coin’s conclusion. Punctuation marks were the focus for much attention and the detached insouciance which both Treason and Crusade noticed was identified as part of their charm. They weren’t restrained by the behavioural parameters within which words were expected to adhere and their enthusiasm for innovation was infectious.

Episode 6: Spellcheck and seduction

Treason laughed and nodded approvingly towards Dissident. ‘An OED spring...sounds like Dissident’s plotting it already…watch this space. OK, we haven’t got long this evening, comrades, so I’d like to introduce somebody who’s having a rough time at the moment and could use some support from us. This is Spellcheck, one of our younger colleagues, with a sorry tale to tell.’

Hesitantly, a young man stood up and blinked as all eyes turned to him. His skin had a ghostly pallor and his eyes darted around the room before they finally settled on a point on the wall, high above everybody. He coughed, closed his eyes, swallowed and spoke.

Episode 3: Words we could happily do without

Cynic rolled his eyes. ‘What’s it this time, Conspiracy? You’ve just seen them yourself? Who’s “them”? What’s “it”?’

 

‘This time, our plot-obsessed friend has a valid concern,’ said Crusade, a serious-looking man wearing a donkey-jacket and jeans. ‘He’s referring to the return of word-traffickers…you know how they often try to exploit the collective dumbing-down around Christmas time. Everyone’s guard is lowered - stupefied by food, drink and rubbish television – and unwanted words can sneak into popular usage. I’m afraid we have a prime example here in the building right now.’

 

Conspiracy leaned forward, dropped his voice even lower and said, ‘Onesie.’

Episode 1. OEDipuss & Omnishambles

Words: we use them continuously. We speak, read, write, text…all without considering the words themselves. But that’s understandable; words don’t exist, you know, really exist. Or do they?

The black-and-white cat padded along a corridor, otherwise deserted and dimly illuminated by uplighters which cast conical shadows below them on the yellow walls. The cat paused intermittently at various doors for an exploratory sniff and glanced up at the uplighters’ illumination reflected back from windows which showed darkness outside. Darkness arrived early at this time of year – so soon after the winter solstice – and a hush prevailed in the C-block building in Wordsdrow, the sprawling campus which housed the occupants of the Oxford English Dictionary.

Coming to a halt outside a room where light seeped around the frame of the door, the cat tried to wiggle a paw underneath. He seemed to have found his destination and stood on his hind paws to scratch the door until it was opened. A man peered out, frowned at the apparent phantom presence while the cat daintily skipped past him and into the room.

‘OEDipuss! You’ll trip somebody up one of these days,’ the man said, smiling as OEDipuss headed towards a window sill and jumped up on to it.